The Random Thoughts of a Man Under the Influence …………..Of Mental Illness
John had thoughts all day, every day, and would makes notes on whatever piece of paper he could find. His Bibles are filled with margin notes, agreeing & disagreeing with the words of the Good Book; most are just thoughts. The notations below are dated within the period of 1969 and March 1971 - his last - and are just a glimpse into the mind of a young man whose thoughts actually killed him - nothing overly reflective of his illness but ill all the while. John’s words are written just as he wrote them. I don’t think he’ll mind my sharing with you.
1/23/69 “To succeed in life, one must have no conscience”.
1/23/69 "My ideas are like the stock market. Up and down”.
1/23/69 “The real enemies of mankind:
1. poverty; 2. ignorance; 3. hunger; 4. disease”.
1/27/69 “An individual smoking 1 ½ packs a day may,
but more likely will, develop cancer (lung & throat).
1/3/70 “I will sue the V.A. for $12,514,248.98 starting
3 Jan 70”.
6/30/70 “Presented to myself in the hopes of discovering
what happened 25 Jan 1969 in Smyrna, Turkey”
Note: John was stationed in Turkey in 1969, where he became ill and ultimately diagnosed with schizophrenia; he was honorably discharged shortly thereafter (5/21/69). This notation was made in the "New English Bible”, Second Edition (1970)
9/5/70 "All knowledge begins with Fear of the Lord".
3/27/71 “You have all the answers, John. Become stoic.
Never show emotion”.